you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Sorry my hands just texted you
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
