i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
