Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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