I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
