Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
