I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
