shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Randomize
