white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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