it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Randomize
