the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
