I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Mom said you looked used
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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