Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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