I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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