Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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