Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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