Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
kristin has been a bad kristin
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
