I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
