I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
please come you make the beer taste better
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
