Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
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