Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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