I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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