Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
