i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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