I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I need to sanitize my soul.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
