This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
