the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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