then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
