do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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