garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
