This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
All the doctor said was why
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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