I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
