He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
