she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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