Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
