I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
too bad you live with your parents still
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
