did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
