i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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