...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
