Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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