She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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