awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
