I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
