Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
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