is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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