I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
