It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
you never un-have a 4some
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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