His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
