I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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