Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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