you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
