And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
