Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
