Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
