doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
