I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Randomize
