i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i just had sex bonerless
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
