I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
did you just send me my own nude
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
