I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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