Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
