After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
